Notes on having a “R”elationship with Bridgett

There are a few key things I have found that are important to me with “R”elationships that I have. I’m not talking about friends with benefits, or passing forces in the night… but they may be of some import there as well.-Be honest about our relationship with others, as possible. I don’t enjoy having my existence denied, avoided, or being a black spot on someone’s life. I don’t enjoy as being the unspoken fling. It makes me feel dishonored and sad. That doesn’t mean you have to put our relationship up on a billboard, but just don’t deny my existence.-Be honest about your other relationships with me, as possible. No, I don’t necessarily want blow by blow details about every date, or anything… but just acknowledge their existence. Say their name in passing. Pass on funny antidotes. If it’s appropriate, tell me more about them. If you avoid their existence with me, it makes me feel like I’m being cheated on, even if I’m the secondary relationship… I want to know that you are happy, and part of that is the other people in your life.-Be able to talk to me on multiple topics, more than surface deep. I enjoy late night discussions on philosophy, religion, politics, gaming, movies, inner turmoil, emotions, life experiences, books and so much more… if you don’t bring stories and/or the ability to talk with me to the table, there will be trouble down the road.-Be willing to dream, question motives, think big, go for your passions, believe in yourself or your direction in some way, and don’t just mope. I love inspiring others, and regularly in my role as healer I often love helping do the above for other people- but you need to be willing to make an effort too. Need to loose 20 pounds? Stop whining about it, and at least make the first step- go walk to the store instead of driving 4 blocks, or whatever. I can’t deal in the long run with folks who complain about X, Y or Z but do nothing about it.-Respect your terms for me. There are some terms, like lover, that apply to many- but there are other terms for me that hold emotional value. Primary partner. Boyfriend. Girlfriend. Owner. Master. Slave. I tend to only have one of any given term in my life… and if that is going to change, I discuss that with the person who already holds that term, change the relationships in play, or at least air it. If I call someone my “boyfriend” and I head someone else in a room call that same person their “boyfriend”- I not longer feel like a special person. I’m just “another one.” I like feeling special. If we agree to use a term for me/us, then please at least friggin’ tell me if you want to use those terms with someone else so I’m not taken by surprise.-Live artistically. Whether you sing, paint, take photographs, send me snippets of comics or poetry, write prose, tell me about how you stopped and watched a sunset, how you read a book… tell me about the movie you saw, the vision you had, the hot smut story you read. Let me see the artist in your soul, even if it’s with your eyes, lips, or visions of what if.-Respect my time. I love babbling on the phone, or on chat, but know that I live a life of chaos incarnate… and if you don’t respect my time, I can sometimes feel like you don’t respect my life paths or my work, both of which hurt. Perhaps ask to set up a phone date? Or say “hey, have time to chat”? A few of my “R”elationships text message me, and I can respond to them when there is time… and know that they care randomly.-Surprise me. Text messages. Spider Chrysanthemums. Trips. Gifts. Poetry. “I thought of you”. Funny stories. Spontaneity. Arrange for a desire to come true through deceit and collaboration. But see the above note.-Acknowledge all of the sides of me. You don’t have to like them or even deal with them, but at least acknowledge those sides and the diversity of my spirit. I am a whore. I am a boy. I am a queen of the friggin universe. I am broken and small. I am strong and defiant. I am geeky. I am artistic. I am all I am, and to see me for only one facet devalues me.-Take care of YOU. If you’re in bad shape, how can I enjoy you? Need help? ASK! Need to be left alone- tell me so. Because if you need hermit time and I keep popping up with love notes, how will I know I’m upsetting you unless we discuss how to take care of you? Even if that means I kiss you goodbye- your health and well being, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically matters.-Follow through. Yes, I know shit happens. I forget to call people. Work cancels my planned trip with you. You run late in traffic. You plan to take a big test and the alarm fails to go off and your (and our) plans are set back for 6 months. That is called life. But if you commit to yourself or to me to do something… try. Just try. Go for the gold. You want a job- go for it, and don’t just drop off the applications, do follow up phone calls, put effort into it.-Live, love, be you. And let us evolve.…So that’s just a few random babblings.Yes, this rant was inspired by a very long talk from last night.Thanks for reading :)